You may feel like when you first meet someone, you want to be open and honest with them about your life. While honesty is a good quality to have, it is good to establish a connection with each other first before you share anything traumatic or challenging. When you tell your partner about your trauma it is up to you whether you decide to tell that person in a few months or even in a few years.
How Do You Know When the Time is Right?
The right time to tell someone about your trauma is when you feel comfortable doing so. It shows that you can trust that person to say anything and not receive judgment or condemnation. If you have been with your partner for a long time and you do not share anything too personal, it can be a barrier for the two of you to be closer and intimate. It may not need to be when the two of you have hardly known each other as you do not want to scare someone on the first date. It is important to find an easier time to tell someone when you are both in a comfortable place and feel a sense of trust and connection. It is also best to talk about this when the two of you are in private.
How Do You Share?
Choose a place where you feel safe and secure to share. Make sure you have enough time to tell your story and not when you have an upcoming commitment that you cannot be late for. It is also important not to drink before you tell your story. You may think it may help you relax, but it is important to have a clear head before sharing this heavy information. Take it slowly sharing your story and be compassionate.
What is An Expected Response?
Your partner may just want to listen. Without fixing things, they just want to hear your story. Your partner may ask you questions so that they can get more details such as what happened next or your feelings. This is a good sign because it shows that they are interested in your life and will not shy away from an emotional story from you. By sharing your story of trauma on your own time, you will allow more people in and feel a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
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