Sometimes we act in anger when we feel stressed, and our loved ones are trying to talk to us. There are subtler ways we take our stress out that may not be as apparent as lashing out at someone. Once we become better at noticing the unhealthy ways we take out our stress, we can create healthier long-term goals that don’t include subjecting our family or friends to stress-related angry outbursts.
Using Self-Isolation
It is common to feel like the best way to regulate your intense emotions is by being alone. You may think that either your loved ones are bringing more stress into your life or you are bringing more stress to theirs. You are deliberately isolating yourself from others with no intentions of going back to them. Your loved ones may wonder if they are doing something wrong or consider themselves part of the problem. A lack of honesty about what is bothering you can lead to increased tension. Set aside some special time for yourself to be alone and then return to your loved ones to avoid leaving them completely.
Are You Engaging in One-Sided Venting?
While It is good to vent out your frustrations to someone you trust, it is another thing to be venting your problems and not bother asking the other person how they are doing. If you make a habit out of this to someone who is not your therapist, it can leave the other person feeling very drained. When you call a friend, let them know you need to vent and if they have the time or energy to listen to you. Make sure that you talk about solutions in this conversation and ask if there is anything your friend would like to say. At the end of the conversation, thank them for listening.
Pretending to Be Fine
When you pretend that you are doing fine, you send the wrong message to your loved ones that you do not trust them with your feelings or that it is not okay to be stressed. Your loved ones will not succeed in addressing your real emotions if you prefer to hide them away. Ask your loved ones if they feel burdened when you are honest about your feelings or asking for help. Slowly allow yourself to let others in. Pushing your loved ones away during times of stress will not help you, but being straightforward with them will.
We tend to act on unhealthy habits to deal with our stress, like lashing out at people. Subtler ways, like pushing away your loved ones through isolation and hiding away your feelings, will not help you. Learning to let people in and listening to others will help ease your worries. At Alta Loma, we understand that not everyone is equipped to know how to handle their anxiety. Fortunately, our transformative treatment services can do the job by providing you with individualized treatment and a long-term continuum of care. Please call (866) 457-3843 to learn more.